So I did this analytics thing on my website and it turns out that 99% of you are gay. Weird, right? I thought so too. Another interesting fact, 100% of those reading were awesome….just something to think about.


Filed under Southern Oregon Blogosphere

Glow Golf! Bring it Back!

It was a Saturday night, we were looking to hook up. With these intentions, like any twenty-something southern Oregon male, we headed to the Rogue Valley Mall. More specific, Glow Golf. We had our whitest shirts on, hoping that they would attract some hotties, but it was all for nothing. Glow Golf was no more. Me and E were so heated. We made a pact, right then and there, to bring Glow Golf back to the Southern Oregon. I hope you put your name on this post as a testament to your loyalty to this mini golf bonanza.

If you are interested I will be organizing a funraiser for this family center. We will be meeting at Joey’s Chili Parlor Tin Tin Buffet Arbys this Saturday at noon. Bring your walking shoes. We are going to raise hell.


Filed under Oregon, Southern Oregon Blogosphere

Inner Monologue when Trick ‘r Treating

Trick or treat!!!21!!!!@@!@!! It’s not too early, ma’am… thanks for the fun sizes. Trick or treat!!! Yes, I’m a very scary vampire; just give me some candy. Trick or treat! Smarties? Ah come on, are you trying to piss me off? Whatever, it’s early; lots of houses still… Trick or treat!! Just one candy? One Jolly Rancher? And it’s apple… at least give me grape. Trick or tr–what? who cares what I am, just give me some candy. Trick or treat!!1!1 No, I’m not too old. I’m ten. Ten. Hey, you know what, fuck you too. Trick or treat… WHAT–IS–THAT… is that a homemade cookie? Do you really expect me to eat that? I’ll eat the smarties before I eat that thing. Trikrtreat. Thanks man, seriously, three snickers… I like you. Trick or treat. Mexican candy… Thanks? Trick or treat. suckers! HELL YES! Thanks, old lady. Trick or treat. DUDE! Regular size twix! Screw that fun size stuff. Thanks, guy wearing Blazers jersey. KNOCK KNOCK I know you’re there. Open the door. Your lights are on, open the door. Don’t give me that, we’re out of candy bs. Fine, I’ll be back later. Trick or treat. Yeah, I’m pretty scary I know…. Smarties again, damn it! This is getting ridiculous. Let’s to to another neighborhood.

This looks like a nice neighborhood. Trick or treat… Trick or treat… trick r treat… come on just two more blocks; it’s getting cold. trick or treat…tricktreat…trtreat…trick… trick.. treat… trtret… trt… ok, I’m done. Hey, anybody wanna trade me for this cookie? No? Fine. Ah man, I gotta get my mom to check for razors.

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Filed under America

Harry Potter Renamed as a Gay Erotic Series

  1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


Filed under America, Crap, Ladies, Oregon, Sam Sabori, Southern Oregon Blogosphere


In Rainbows is a great success, but I personally believe that Radiohead–or anybody as successful (which leaves few)– is the only band that could pull this off. If any other musical artist uses the same strategy I think that it will give the listener a justified reason to download for free. Listeners want originality, something fresh, don’t you think the same gimmick would bore the listener? It would be kind of like Ok Go putting out another music video of them dancing. Yes, you got our attention. Nice. Now show us your music. The same with Sufjan. Fifty States, wow, I have hear this. Michael Jackson, hey, didn’t he molest the Home Alone kid?

The bottom line: It worked for Radiohead, but, honestly, it’s not going to break the record industry. If the listener wants a new album they’ll get it (for whatever price they want).



Filed under music

Things I’ve Leanred This Week

This week, I’ve realized that…

  • Palindromes are hard (if you want them to make sense).
  • The Koran is dry (I have to read the whole thing for my Islamic Civilization history class).
  • Almost 75% of the bands in AP have the word ‘Silent’ or ‘die’ in their name.
  • Realized that most of the old guys in the Hannon Library are there to look at porn.
  • Many Starbucks employees don’t know the meaning of Microfoam.
  • In Greek Mythology, the idea of heaven and hell does not exist. Hades, the god of the underworld takes every soul that dies. Interesting, no?
  • You can sell anything in Ashland if the word ‘Organic’ is in the title.
  • I like the Rabbit.

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Filed under God, Ladies, Life, Random, Southern Oregon Blogosphere

Signs Your Penis is a Woman

  • Wishes it was a size 8.
  • Thinks it’s fat.
  • Cuddles up to you when it’s cold.
  • Sometimes smells like poop.
  • Likes the color pink.


Filed under Funny